For the addle-brained fiance betrothed to a psychopathic harpy, the Remember Ring: a wedding band that reminds you of your anniversary through a searing blast of heat and the wafting smell of your own charred, decaying flesh.

If you’re prone to memory lapses — or simply have too many secret second families on the side — then you may want to consider the Remember Ring. Here’s how it works: A full 24 hours before your special day begins, a “hot spot” on the ring’s interior will begin to warm up to 120º F for approximately 10 seconds. And in case that doesn’t do the trick, the ring will continue to warm up every hour, on the hour, all day long!

Remember Ring Sears Important Dates Into Flesh